Top Bridesmaid Dilemmas and How To Avoid Them
Here is a list of common stumbling blocks on the road to a happy bridal party – and essential tips to avert them.
After the initial congratulatory exclamations subside, distress can erupt on the bridesmaid front. From gripes about bridesmaids’ dresses and wedding planning logistics, to deeper issues of insecurity and envy, there’s enough drama potential to strain even the closest friendships. A blissful wedding day relies on a happy bridal party – and the best way to ensure that is to avert potential problems in advance.
There is a reason for the clichéd status of the heinous bridesmaid dress – and that’s because some brides just don’t think before selecting the “perfect” ensemble for their ’maids.
Problem Solved: Let Go a Little
Seriously consider allowing your attendants (or maybe just your maid of honor) to help in the dress-selection process. Or better yet, give them a color scheme and style, and let them choose their own – which they must run by you first, of couse! There is no reason they all need to match.
No doubt about it, being a bridesmaid is a costly endeavor, and almost every wedding party in history has included some gripes about expenses.
Problem Solved: Be Considerate
Don’t book the room block at a five-star hotel; don’t insist your bachelorette bash be an extravagant weekend at a fancy resort; don’t mandate every girl get her hair and makeup done (unless you’re footing the bill). Remember: Yours is probably not the only wedding they’ll be in this year – or even this month – so try to mitigate expenses where you can.
Green with Envy
It’s often hard for us to admit, but most girls do have a bit of a jealous streak. While it’s not always intentional, it can be difficult to be completely happy for your newly engaged friend when faced with the prospect of being the last person sitting at the singles table.
Problem Solved: Reach Out
Arrange a girls’ night, and celebrate your ’maids for a change. And don’t just talk about the wedding; ask them about their lives, too. Just remember to always keep the lines of communication open and be a friend.
OK, so your female friends aren’t exactly chomping at the bit to address 350 wedding invitations for you one night, followed by assembling 200 wedding guest baskets the next. But before you equate their slightly-less-than-enthused response with “worst bridesmaids ever” condemnation, try to put yourself in their shoes.
Problem Solved: Be Considerate of Their Time
Remember that they’re your bridesmaids, not your slaves. While some of your wedding plans can be a group effort, keep the tasks within reason and try to make them fun. Add a bottle of wine, some cheese and crackers (your treat), and you’ve got yourself a fun little get-together.
The fact that a group of girls together often produces tension-filled results is an understatement. Disagreements can result among even the best of friends. Perhaps your college friends don’t get along too well with your high-school friends, or your future sister-in-law may not quite see eye to eye with the rest of the crew.
Problem Solved: Don’t Get Stuck In the Middle
If you anticipate tension, designate one friend with keen peacemaking qualities to be the moderator, ideally the same person you would choose to be your maid of honor. If possible, try to introduce everyone at an informal event – before the shower or bachelorette party.